Dutch thoughts

I was invited to present at a training event in Amsterdam and had a fantastic three days with a great bunch of people and fantastically generous hosts. 


Some observations about Amsterdam and things Dutch for the traveller:

1. There is a lot of Dutch cheese in the world and a lot of it is expensive. 28€ for 50g is just plain stupid though.
2. Cheese is a valid and appropriate gift to take home to loved ones / significant other / pet / invisible friend.
3. The Dutch are very generous, happy kind people who pronounce the letter "S" as sshhh
4. When crossing the road, keep your head scanning 180 degrees from side to side until you are at the other side in case you get hit by a tram, car or bicycle.
5. There are no fences between the trams and pavement.
6. There are a lot of bicycles in Amsterdam. I mean a lot. Certainly more than in a bicycle shop.
7. If happening upon a Red Light area unexpectedly, try not to: 

1. Jump in surprise
2. Yelp in surprise
3. Stare 
4. Speak your thoughts .
8. When wandering in a group of jolly people in a Red Light area, at least one male member of the group will divulge a lot more than you would expect about the area and "sector" (prices, opening times etc) but will be oblivious to the more obvious inference that can be drawn from their encyclopaedic knowledge.  
9. The Dutch people (male or female) can be extremely tall. Try not to: 
1. Jump in surprise , 
2. Yelp in surprise 
3. Stare 
4. Speak your thoughts .
10. The delicacy Vlaamse frites (chips in a paper cone with sauce) can substitute for a main meal if it's late and you can't be bothered sitting is some random restaurant on your own.
11. Schipol airport has a "Meditation Centre" for all you Buddhists out there.
12. The ticket machines at Central Station can swallow your debit card. Always have your bank phone number handy to cancel them.
13. A lot of the Dutch live on canal boats and don't close their curtains. When seeing something inappropriate try not to: 
1. Jump in surprise , 
2. Yelp in surprise 
3. Stare 
4. Speak your thoughts .
14. The novelty of  "living statues" wears off in about 60 seconds in Dam Square.
15. Don’t go to Amsterdam is you are allergic to the colour Orange.

 I hope the above is useful.